If you thought lawyers were shy and unassuming, happiest drafting opinions in some backroom, think again.
A survey of partners at the UK's leading law firms asked them, among other things, about their remaining ambition. The responses prove they can be as self-seeking, bitchy, overworked, or tongue-in-cheek as the rest of us.
A partner at Shoosmiths wants to appear on the front page of heavy-metal bible Kerrang! maybe superseding Iron Maiden (pictured) and a Barlow Lyde & Gilbert partner wants "to watch Chelsea win the Premiership and be awarded a papal knighthood".
One egomaniac at Eversheds wants "a bigger name in the marketplace for myself". At Gibson Dunn & Crutcher, a partner asks for "the ability to delegate my entire 'in tray' to a group of competent assistants who require no supervision". A partner at DLA wants "to avoid being f***ked up by the dog-eat-dog pressure".
Inter-firm rivalry is keen. "Getting a Linklaters partner to smile during negotiations" is a dream of a Baker & McKenzie respondent. But we have to hand it to an Allen & Overy partner whose sole remaining ambition is "world domination". You have been warned.