Gut feeling: Dukascopy
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Gut feeling: Dukascopy

I received a very strange press release this week from a company called Dukascopy. It prompted me to send an email back asking if it was sure about its accuracy. Strangely, the email bounced. Undeterred I called the company.

Dukascopy then told me that I wouldn’t be able to speak to anyone about the release and its supposed news until next Tuesday. “That’s a strange way of managing your PR,” I told the bemused telephone receptionist. “It’s odd to send out a press release and then have nobody available to talk about it.”

Anyway, for those who don’t know it, here is how Dukascopy, a company that apparently sponsors the luggage trollies at Geneva airport, describes itself. “Dukascopy-SWFX Swiss FX Marketplace is a technological solution for trading, using a centralised-decentralised marketplace model.”

Centralised-decentralised market place? Why didn’t Ron Smith-Glare think of that when he tried to launch his revolutionary YoursMineShag platform? I wondered.

The press release only confused me further. It has clearly not been written by a native English speaker. That is not reason to discriminate against it, but its content seemingly goes a step beyond normal marketing hyperbole. In fact, it looks full of hyperbollocks. Here it is, verbatim:

“In this period of turbulence, when the Swiss financial industry flow looses it’s good reputation, the technological leader in the domain of Forex offers a good opportunity for Switzerland. Imagined in the laboratories of CERN (European Organization for Nuclear Research), the latest technology, Dukascopy-SWFX, founder of the biggest Swiss marketplace with over 10 billion dollars of volume per day, is finally available to the regional banks and brokers.

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